Caution; This guy likes to hurt people.

Yeah he may look benign, your probably thinking to yourself " oh look he is an artist I am sure he is a very compassionate and caring individual.." Well let me tell you from experience, this is not the case. The man may be as tame as an earthworm when he is doing his oil paintings ( which you can see are pretty fucking amazing) but he is deadly when wielding a laser. Last night I had my second laser treatment to remove my tattoos. I went into the shop feeling pretty confident, the 1st time wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, plus it is always nice to hang with my old buddy Kurt and talk about all the weird stuff we used to do and the even weirder stuff we do now. I laid down on the "operating table", rolled up my sleeve and pulled down my pants and we began to chat. As soon as that laser hit my skin I knew this was going to be a very different experience then last time. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!", I thought to myself, this REALLY hurts!!!! Ten seconds later I stopped talking and began to meditate on the floor to try to not think about how it felt like someone was literally burning off my flesh. Kurt says (in a very calm, I know your dieing, but I am not going to admit to it tone) " how ya doin?" Which in just as calm of a fashion (cause who really wants to be the cry baby at the tattoo shop) I replied " ya know, this hurts a little bit more then last time, actually." He just nodded and went about his business of torturing me for the next hour. I walked out of there feeling like I had just escaped out of a Chinese torture chamber. Unfortunately I know I will have to put myself through this agony at least 2 more times, but not for 3 more months. Thank god. I am sure by that point I will have forgotten how excruciating the pain is and walk back in to Leviticus with a smile on my face, only to leave with a tortured grimace. There are many lessons to be learned from this. 1. do not get tattoos before the age of 25, you will not like them after awhile. 2. Do not get said tattoos by people who aren't the best artists in your country. 3. Do NOT get a tattoo thinking, oh when I am sick of it I will just get it removed, yeah you can, but it is going to cost you a small fortune and a huge amount of suffering, during the process and for about 2 weeks after. 4. When people who want to remove your tattoos (i.e doctors, shady dudes and the such) tell you it's not going to hurt, RUN THE OTHER WAY. It is going to hurt, Leviticus told me that right away, where as another establishment that claims to be the best laser treatment center in the state said " oh no, it shouldn't be painful at all!" If they are going to lie to you about that, they are probably going to fuck you up. 5. If you get a tattoo that extends down to the bottom of your ass cheek, your going to be laying out on a bench for quite sometime with your ass hanging out, probably twitching when it gets hit with the laser, so make sure it looks good or at least presentable. It is going to be inches away from the persons face who is doing the procedure. In my case this was slightly funny because the joke of the hour was " bet you didn't think you would see this ass again!" Well that's about it I think. I guess I better give Leviticus and Kurt some props here. They treated me really well and hooked it up. Thanks guys! See ya in 3 months! Oh by the way Mr. Melancon, my precious moments sweatshirt collection Only consists of one offs, so TAKE THAT! Oh and to anyone who wants a tattoo or to remove one, go to Leviticus, they aren't going to screw up your life by giving you a shitty, panther-yin-yang-skull tattoo or burn your skin off with a laser, it will just feel like that at first, then it will look sweet.

I really like skin.. I mean REALLY.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Buffalo Bill. Bazaar? I know, essential? I think so too. I never try to hide the fact that I think silence of the Lambs is one of the funniest movies ever made, I have never made an excuse for my eccentricities or strange behavior. I always kind of regarded this obsession as sort of endearing and a good trait to shuffle out the people in my life who just don't get it. It is kind of the ultimate test. Either you think Buffalo bill is hilarious and we can be friends, lovers, whatever, or you don't and in that case you really have no point in my life what so ever. I was thinking about the "test" that every person has for filtering out the people they want to spend their time with, and realized that whether we know it or not, or even choose to except it, we all have one. Mine just happens to be slightly obscure and possibly a little vulgar. Just like me. And to sum it up with my new favorite saying, " I wouldn't have it any other way." Just like the people in my life.

I heart these guys.

I was just reading my best friend's blog and came across this photo of them in AZ. I can honestly say i teared up a little. It was like the sands of time going through the hour glass in a sense. I quickly filed through my mind all of the great memories I have of these two. Together they have proven to be a driving force in my life and have always been there to support me through whatever comes my way. A challenge or an achievement, they have been the two people I can count on to be by my side. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope that anyone reading this blog has been or is as blessed as I am to have such wonderful people in their lives. I love you both dearly and hope that I can be even half the friend to you that you have been to me. No matter what comes our way in life, I promise I will be there for both of you.

Any place, any time, always.

The return of..

The only man in my life.

Yeah, it is sweet.

So I think I have finally secured my apartment in Miami, and it is better then I ever thought it could be. Instead of sharing a one bedroom with 3 other models and sleeping on the floor, I will have my own room! Not only that, my own BATHROOM. Thats right. The apartment is ours as soon as the application goes through. Located just steps away from the ocean right in south beach. Fully furnished and an ocean view. Radiant heating and a security system. Yeah its 82 degrees there right now. Oh and here is the view from our ROOF TOP PATIO!! HAHA!! Eat your heart out people.

Holy hell.

So I have been going through my box's of "stuff" in the basement and came up with some pretty amazing gems. You know "the stuff". The things you can't seem to get rid of for sentimental reasons, even though they take you an extra hour of moving time and you only look at it maybe once every 3 years? So glad I keep hauling my "stuff" from one place to the next. I happened upon this treasure and laughed my ass off for a good 5 minutes. The item I am speaking of happens to be a top ten list of things to say to losers at warp tour circa 1996. Fucking awesome. It was composed by myself and a very dear friend of mine named Ambra Markos. Complete with illustrations and side notes, I will hold this close to my heart for all eternity. I thought I might post the whole damn thing and really air our evil dirty laundry, but in the end decided against it. Somethings are just to cool for anyone besides you and your previous H.L.M to understand. But I thought I might give you all a little taste of what went on in the minds of 13 year old wannabe rockercoolsk8erlovin chics. (Yeah, we said sk8 then..)

The downfall of american fashion magazines

OK. So I know that since the reign of the supermodel in the late 80's - mid 90's American fashion mags have been putting movie stars and other types of celebrities on covers. I know it is because they are trying to reach a broader audience since most dim-wit Americans wouldn't know a model unless she kneed them in the face with her 9 foot long leg. I also know that world famous supermodels are kind of a thing of the past, which is really tragic, but for Christ sakes, STOP PUTTING JESSICA SIMPSON ON THE COVER OF FASHION MAGAZINES!!!!! I am so tired of reaching into my mail box each month to extract a so called ''fashion bible'' with that bucked toothed beaver smiling up at me like she just ate the best piece of country fried chicken! What the hell does she have to do with fashion? What does she have to do with culture and art? A whole lot of nothing, that's what. I guess my main question to these editors that choose people like her or say, fucking crazy ass Lindsey Lohan is, who exactly are you trying to get to read this periodical? Some pimply faced, flared jeans wearing, MTV worshipping, 15 year old Walmart shopper? This isn't US weekly people. I don't think celebrities belong on the cover of fashion magazines unless, they actually have something POSITIVE to do with fashion. Like Ms. Paltrow. You can put her on the cover of vogue 6 months out of the year for all I care, she knows fashion, she has impeccable taste, and the people that should be reading and understand fashion magazines respect her, even worship her. Sure we might get a little taste here in there of actual models on the covers, but it is usually someone like Gisele, who only became a household name after becoming a Victoria's secret vixen. Whoa! That chic has big boobs and a booty! She must be a new model! When in actuality she had been gracing the pages of vogue and walking in shows for close to 3 years before your boyfriend's drunk jock friend even knew what a Brazilian bombshell was. It just makes me tired. Slightly depressed even. That's why I began to buy European fashion magazines. Models actually have names, covers and deep breath, guest editorials!! Yet another reason to get the hell out of this country.

I want! I want!!!

I need these 2 items, desperately. Right now. So if any of you have $10,000.00.....

Finally..

There’s only so much you can learn in one place.
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste.

I haven’t got much time to waste, it’s time to make my way
I’m not afraid what I’ll face, but I’m afraid to stay
I’m going down my own road and I can make it alone
I will work and I'll fight, till I find a place of my own

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back,
Yes, I’m ready to jump.

I learned my lesson from the start
The only thing you can depend on is your self
And life’s gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree
It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don’t ever look back
Yes, I’m ready to jump


There’s only so much you can learn in one place
The more that I wait, the more time I waste

I will work and I'll fight, till I find a place of my own.

I can make it alone.

Yours.

This life ends. A new and strange one begins.

I've decided tonight I'm staying alive, just kicking & screaming, Blood boiling & steaming.
There are things far too dark to comprehend.
Sleep on it one more night my sad old friend.
The worst is over.

I came, I saw, I conquered.

The title says it all. I flew to Miami to do a show and now I will be moving there. Thank god I am getting out of this cold ass state. Don't get me wrong, I am going to miss some things here and some people. But I've wanted out for a while and now is the perfect time to start my life over. Have fun in the snow suckers! I have also included a few photos of my trip for your viewing pleasure.