la dolce vita.


Caution; This guy likes to hurt people.

Yeah he may look benign, your probably thinking to yourself " oh look he is an artist I am sure he is a very compassionate and caring individual.." Well let me tell you from experience, this is not the case. The man may be as tame as an earthworm when he is doing his oil paintings ( which you can see are pretty fucking amazing) but he is deadly when wielding a laser. Last night I had my second laser treatment to remove my tattoos. I went into the shop feeling pretty confident, the 1st time wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, plus it is always nice to hang with my old buddy Kurt and talk about all the weird stuff we used to do and the even weirder stuff we do now. I laid down on the "operating table", rolled up my sleeve and pulled down my pants and we began to chat. As soon as that laser hit my skin I knew this was going to be a very different experience then last time. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!", I thought to myself, this REALLY hurts!!!! Ten seconds later I stopped talking and began to meditate on the floor to try to not think about how it felt like someone was literally burning off my flesh. Kurt says (in a very calm, I know your dieing, but I am not going to admit to it tone) " how ya doin?" Which in just as calm of a fashion (cause who really wants to be the cry baby at the tattoo shop) I replied " ya know, this hurts a little bit more then last time, actually." He just nodded and went about his business of torturing me for the next hour. I walked out of there feeling like I had just escaped out of a Chinese torture chamber. Unfortunately I know I will have to put myself through this agony at least 2 more times, but not for 3 more months. Thank god. I am sure by that point I will have forgotten how excruciating the pain is and walk back in to Leviticus with a smile on my face, only to leave with a tortured grimace. There are many lessons to be learned from this. 1. do not get tattoos before the age of 25, you will not like them after awhile. 2. Do not get said tattoos by people who aren't the best artists in your country. 3. Do NOT get a tattoo thinking, oh when I am sick of it I will just get it removed, yeah you can, but it is going to cost you a small fortune and a huge amount of suffering, during the process and for about 2 weeks after. 4. When people who want to remove your tattoos (i.e doctors, shady dudes and the such) tell you it's not going to hurt, RUN THE OTHER WAY. It is going to hurt, Leviticus told me that right away, where as another establishment that claims to be the best laser treatment center in the state said " oh no, it shouldn't be painful at all!" If they are going to lie to you about that, they are probably going to fuck you up. 5. If you get a tattoo that extends down to the bottom of your ass cheek, your going to be laying out on a bench for quite sometime with your ass hanging out, probably twitching when it gets hit with the laser, so make sure it looks good or at least presentable. It is going to be inches away from the persons face who is doing the procedure. In my case this was slightly funny because the joke of the hour was " bet you didn't think you would see this ass again!" Well that's about it I think. I guess I better give Leviticus and Kurt some props here. They treated me really well and hooked it up. Thanks guys! See ya in 3 months! Oh by the way Mr. Melancon, my precious moments sweatshirt collection Only consists of one offs, so TAKE THAT! Oh and to anyone who wants a tattoo or to remove one, go to Leviticus, they aren't going to screw up your life by giving you a shitty, panther-yin-yang-skull tattoo or burn your skin off with a laser, it will just feel like that at first, then it will look sweet.

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