la dolce vita.


this is Nick Nolte.

Nick Nolte comes to my house every Wednesday. I think he gets loaded before he comes, which of course should be no surprise to anyone, I mean when is Nick Nolte not loaded? At the beginning when I pick him up I always take a minute before unlocking the door to center my mind. I say " this time he won't make me want to kill myself." I walk in and the "screaming" or I guess you might call that yelping, begins. I have to prepare myself outside of the kennel because even though he weighs about 15 lbs, he knocks me over EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME. When I finally get the leash on all hell really breaks loose, he walks on two legs to the car, dragging me on the ground behind him. After I have brought him to the house and the other dogs have expressed their annoyance pretty much from the start, I load him up and he does the 2 step back into the house, I feel like I could collapse. He exhausts me and at the same time makes me want to drink an entire bottle of Jack Daniel's, and I don't even like whiskey. I think he is actually a cross between Nick Nolte and Beezlbub. And you know what that makes him.

No comments: